1 00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:11,680 Oh, my God. What happened? 2 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:13,680 A little warning from The Dean. 3 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:17,320 How's it coming with the money? We've only got two weeks left. 4 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:18,920 Yep, we're on target, 5 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:22,400 it's the final push but, um... 6 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:24,160 ..we're low on stock. 7 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:25,560 Of what? 8 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:28,000 Everything. Even crack? 9 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,400 It's our bestseller. 10 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:32,560 Professionals, clubbers, students, they love it. 11 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,520 Yeah. It can get you like that. 12 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:37,120 OK, so how do we replenish stock? 13 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:40,440 You need some fresh ingredients and a cook. 14 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:43,280 I'll arrange it. Well done. 15 00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:44,720 I'm impressed. 16 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,160 The Brook Hill crew is nominally run 17 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:49,480 by this man, 18 00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:52,080 Christian Taylor. Taylor's currently inside 19 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:54,080 for violating the terms of his probation. 20 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,400 So who's in charge now? His lieutenants? 21 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,000 Unclear. Souljah's gone to ground, 22 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,200 and Spider was shot and injured by persons unknown. 23 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:02,960 Have you spoken to him? We have. He's still so weak he could barely 24 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:05,200 answer our questions let alone run any kind of crew. 25 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:06,880 Do we know how Brook Hill is structured? 26 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:08,760 Like most local crews, we think they've got 27 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:11,760 a network of foot soldiers who are young and highly mobile. 28 00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:21,880 I thought I might go and see Mum later. 29 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:24,240 Oh. Well, say hi from me. 30 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:25,920 You could come, she'd like that. 31 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,840 Normally I'd be in like Flynn, but sadly, I got a thing. 32 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:31,400 Do you not feel like you owe Mum a visit? 33 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:34,520 Absolutely. It's on my list. Right at the top. 34 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,840 Brook Hill is plugged into the local community. 35 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,840 Though we believe they have ties to this major London player, The Dean. 36 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:46,920 Well, that means Brook Hill has to get profits back 37 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:48,720 to London, which means a bagman. Any leads? 38 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:51,200 Not yet, but The Dean's been at the top level for years, 39 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,840 so anyone moving money for him will be one slick operator. 40 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:56,840 I don't like broccoli. 41 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:58,920 You can't live entirely off Tangy Cheese Doritos. 42 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:01,360 You need fruit and veg in your diet if you want to love again. 43 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:04,280 Why? All right, supposing you go round to Anne-Marie's house 44 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:05,840 and she's made you a nice salad. 45 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:08,000 I'll just pretend to have a stroke. 46 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,960 How about...an olive? 47 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,600 Oh, fuck off! 48 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:14,320 We've identified a kid - Carter, 17 - 49 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:16,160 we know he's running for Brook Hill. 50 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:19,000 We need four plainclothes in one week to run surveillance on him. 51 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,360 No. I don't have the manpower. Sir, if we sit on this kid 52 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:24,240 for long enough, whoever's running Brook Hill will show their face. 53 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:26,200 Two people, 48 hours. Three people, 72 hours. 54 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,760 Fine. But I want pictures on my desk in three days. 55 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,720 You better watch yourself. 56 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:35,240 The Feds was here asking about The Dean. 57 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,960 They know someone's running my end, so look sharp. 58 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:44,640 You got to leave right now? 59 00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:46,800 Yeah. What? 60 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,360 If you go, 61 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:50,720 I got to go back to my cell and talk to Hank, 62 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:53,440 and he ain't exactly Graham Norton, you know? 63 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:57,760 Can...can we just talk? 64 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:01,640 What do you want to...talk about? 65 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,920 Anything. 66 00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:05,680 Why did you become a drug dealer? 67 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:07,280 The pension plan. 68 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:09,480 Aren't you scared of getting hurt? 69 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:12,600 My dad never broke the law once. 70 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,920 He was a welder all his life. 71 00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:17,840 What did he get for all his honest hard work? 72 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:20,360 Chronic lung disease from the fumes. 73 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:23,560 Why didn't you stay in school, get an education? 74 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:26,240 If your family couldn't afford to put food on the table 75 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,520 and someone offered you a chance to make money, 76 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,920 what would you choose? Dealing, or double maths? 77 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:12,480 {\an8}Following an extensive community needs assessment, 78 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,400 {\an8}we have a strategy that's in line with 79 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:16,480 {\an8}the city's economic action plan. Slide. 80 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:19,480 {\an8}When I say, "Slide," Susie, jump to the next slide. 81 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:21,080 {\an8}What are you doing? 82 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:22,640 {\an8}Prepping for the Town Hall tonight. 83 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:25,040 {\an8}You can stand down, love, I'll be doing the talking. 84 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:26,720 {\an8}You don't know how to work PowerPoint. 85 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,040 {\an8}We don't need slides, we need passion. 86 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:30,520 {\an8}This isn't rabble-rousing. 87 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,760 {\an8}We need to convince the council that we have 88 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:35,080 {\an8}the financial nous to take over the community centre. 89 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:37,080 {\an8}You have never done a Town Hall, love. 90 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,480 {\an8}You've got to win the crowd. It is war. 91 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,360 Maybe we should put it to the group. 92 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:42,560 Claire, 93 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:45,000 although I fully support the democratic process, 94 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,960 in this instance, kindly do one. 95 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:49,000 I will be speaking at the meeting. 96 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,760 Oh, my God. Lara's back on Her. 97 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,080 Am I supposed to know what that means? 98 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:58,160 Er, OK. Um, Lara, 99 00:04:58,160 --> 00:04:59,760 Lara is my ex, 100 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:01,560 and Her is-is-is a lesbian dating site, 101 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:04,240 which means that she's single again. I don't know what to do. I mean, 102 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:06,880 should I DM her? I should probably DM her, right? I mean, is it weird 103 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,320 if I DM her? I don't know, I mean, I think it would be weirder if 104 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:11,840 I didn't DM her, is that right? What do I do, Greg? Have you thought 105 00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:14,760 about DM'ing her? You really think I should? I mean, last time I saw her, 106 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:18,120 I royally shat the nest. Well, you're in a better place now. Yeah. 107 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,840 Emotionally, not physically. I mean, your place was way nicer. 108 00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:22,560 Yeah. Are you on the apps? 109 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:25,400 Oof! No. Need a full body or brain transplant before 110 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:27,560 an internet lady found me attractive. 111 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,560 That's nonsense. You should, you should definitely be on the apps. 112 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:32,120 Really? You think so? 113 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:35,000 Yeah... Yeah, you should. I mean, look, we... 114 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,240 ..we need to work on a few things first, but... 115 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:38,600 Like what? 116 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:41,200 Well, your diet, posture, conversation, 117 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,920 wardrobe, general aura and height. 118 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:46,040 My height? Yeah. You're just... 119 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:48,760 You're too tall. You loom over people and it's... 120 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:50,440 How can I change that? 121 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,120 You could be in the distance more. 122 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,400 Sure, I'll try that. OK. 123 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:59,000 Hmm. I'm going to make you my new project. 124 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,800 Greg 2.0. 125 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,800 I'm going to sign you up to all of the dating apps, so... 126 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,280 ..commit to change, 127 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:07,960 choose happiness, and eat the broccolini. 128 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,720 Careful, it's hot. OK. 129 00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:16,440 Mmm. That's amazing. 130 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:22,320 Yeah? Mmm, thank you. Um, I spoke to my parents. 131 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:25,080 OK. You ask about the loan? 132 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,760 No. 133 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:28,240 No? 134 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:30,720 It's just a bit difficult cos, you know, 135 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,360 all the money they saved was for me to go to Oxford. 136 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:38,960 OK. You're not getting cold feet about Weston, are you? 137 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:40,560 No. 138 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:42,440 No, I...I... 139 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:45,240 ..I just want to approach it really carefully, 140 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,760 you know? Um, so I told them we'd come over, 141 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,640 bring dinner, then once they've sampled your yummy food, then we'd 142 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:54,560 bring up the loan. OK. Is that OK? Yeah. You sure? 143 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,280 Yes. OK. 144 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:02,560 Can you just add a bit more chilli? Cos Dad likes it hot. 145 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:04,240 Yeah? Yeah. So do I. 146 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:12,280 Eww! Go to your room! 147 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:13,800 Go to YOUR room! 148 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:21,120 Es, how would you like to move to Weston with us, 149 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:24,280 to open a food shack, start selling my food? 150 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:26,360 Why would people pay for your food? 151 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:28,120 Cos it's different. 152 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:31,200 Come on, Es. 153 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,920 Don't you want to live by the beach? You know, sun, sea, donkeys. 154 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,560 More people are killed by donkeys 155 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,680 every year than die in plane crashes. 156 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,160 So...is that a yes? 157 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:46,360 Fine. But if a donkey even looks at me funny, 158 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:48,440 I'm moving back to Bristol. 159 00:07:58,120 --> 00:07:59,560 Excuse me. 160 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,800 Excuse me, madam, this is private property. 161 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:03,800 For your own safety, I'm going to have to ask you 162 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,120 to step on to the pavement, please. 163 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:09,440 OK. Legally, we are now safe. How can I help? 164 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:13,320 Right, well, I live at number 14, just across the road. 165 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,160 You look like you're in charge. 166 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,080 Your eyes do not deceive you. 167 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,640 I thought I should let you know that of 168 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:24,280 an evening there's often comings and goings in the centre. 169 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:28,160 What, post-6pm? 170 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,120 Yes. Sometimes late into the night. 171 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:33,800 Can I take your name, please? 172 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:36,000 Barbara Latham. 173 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,560 I'm not being nosey or nothing, I just thought it was 174 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:41,760 a bit odd, you know? It's been empty for so long and then... 175 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:44,560 Can you describe these comings and goings, please, Barbara? 176 00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:47,520 Not really, I'd need to move my sofa to get a proper look. 177 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,120 That would be great, if you could. 178 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,600 Sofa's quite heavy, though, and I'm on my own. 179 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,880 Right, well, you've got to bend at the knees, you see? 180 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:57,080 Really engage the core. Use the breath. 181 00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,320 Breathe in. Lift. OK? 182 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:00,800 Oi. 183 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:03,600 Yeah? Get a good vantage point. 184 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:06,440 Take photos. Have you got a telephoto lens? No. 185 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:09,240 No? Well you can pick 'em up cheap on eBay, 186 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:10,840 OK? Look, 187 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:13,360 if you see anything suspicious, call me. 188 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:15,120 Right. 189 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,160 Shouldn't I call the police? 190 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:20,600 Read the card, Barbara. 191 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:23,320 I'm a Trainee Police Community Support Officer. 192 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:27,880 Round here, I am the law, OK? Unless you get mugged 193 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:31,760 or raped, in which case, call the real police. 194 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:36,520 I need you three to pick up supplies for me. 195 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:38,160 Supplies? Of what? 196 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,560 Raw product. Then bring it here tonight, 197 00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:43,200 where a cook will cook it. Ready for sale. 198 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:44,640 Why do we have to do that? 199 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:47,560 Because look at you - no-one will suspect you. 200 00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:50,560 Well, why can't you do it? Because I have to drive around intimidating 201 00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:52,960 little children that work for us. Would you rather do that? 202 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,600 I don't want to do that, I don't know anything about buying drugs. 203 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,040 Could you just figure it out?! 204 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:01,480 No-one taught me how to run a drug empire in school, either. 205 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,120 I'd love to help, 206 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:11,200 but I promised my daughter I'd visit my ex-wife. 207 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:14,440 If we're cooking crack cocaine, YOU'RE cooking crack cocaine. 208 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:16,200 Nah, leave him, leave him. 209 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:20,480 He's fixing things with his family. That's important. Yeah. 210 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:23,240 OK, so I'm signing you up for Tinder. 211 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:24,760 No, I don't want to be one 212 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:27,440 of those sad, desperate losers on a dating app. 213 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:30,440 All right, fine. I'll delete it. I guess it is just a load of people 214 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:33,360 looking for meaningless sex. Well, I suppose I could give it one go. 215 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:34,680 No Greg, I think you're right. 216 00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:37,080 I think we should ease you in more gently. Maybe Eharmony? 217 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,680 Isn't that mainly over-50s? Yeah. 218 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:40,840 How old do you think I am? 219 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:43,000 We'll need a sexy profile pic. Have you got any photos 220 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,560 of you on holiday, or maybe with a cute animal? 221 00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:49,200 Ooh, yeah. I've got a nice one of me on Clacton Beach with a dead squid. 222 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:52,360 Three, two, one, go! 223 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:55,920 Oh, yeah, I mean... maybe take your glasses off? 224 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:57,320 Glasses off? Yeah, rock and roll. 225 00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:00,360 Yeah. Absolutely. OK. Aww. Smile. 226 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:04,680 You look like a Victorian child-catcher. 227 00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:06,800 Let's try a pout, OK? 228 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,920 So, say, "Prunes." 229 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:12,280 Ooh, you look like someone's doing something 230 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:15,600 to you without your consent. Greg, just... 231 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:18,480 I'm out of my depth here. If I can't even pose for a photo, 232 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:20,920 what am I going to be like on a real date? 233 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:22,760 Maybe I can change the filter. 234 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:25,040 Yeah? Can you filter out middle-aged and desperation? 235 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:28,120 No. But that's a great idea for an app. 236 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,800 I'm getting Greg back on the dating horse 237 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:32,680 and he needs a bit of practice. 238 00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:35,000 And this affects me how? 239 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:38,600 Would you go on a trial date with him? What? 240 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,960 You know, just to report back, let me know how he does, 241 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,680 so that we can iron out any wrinkles before he goes on any real dates. 242 00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:45,240 Definitely not. 243 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:48,880 I find Greg not only unattractive but sexually repugnant. 244 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:50,920 No offence taken. 245 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:53,280 Mmm. You see, the thing is, Diane, 246 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,040 I need a woman I can trust to give me an independent 247 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:59,200 heterosexual female assessment of Greg's behaviour. 248 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,760 I can't be seen socialising with criminals. I mean, 249 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,240 not only am I his community support supervisor, 250 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:05,960 I'm also a trainee PCSO now. 251 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:09,200 But I need, you know, a dating detective. 252 00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:12,080 Do you need fingerprints? 253 00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:13,720 DNA? Swab of the foreskin? 254 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:16,760 Whatever you think is useful, 255 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,480 but you would be doing me a massive solid. 256 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:21,240 Go on, then. 257 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,200 But only for the purposes of research. 258 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,200 Fabulous, thank you. I owe you one, darling. 259 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:28,160 I'll pick you up at 19:00 hours. Oh, would you mind if he picks you up, 260 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:29,640 just to keep it more traditional? 261 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:32,120 I'll allow it. Don't be late. 262 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:33,880 No, ma'am. 263 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,920 It must be so boring being a drug runner. 264 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:54,080 Sitting around and doing...nothing. 265 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:59,720 Just...waiting and keeping lookout. 266 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,760 I'd be so bored. 267 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,280 Nope, grey. What are we looking for? 268 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:21,120 We are looking for a green Volkswagen Golf, 269 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:23,760 and the driver has a scar underneath his left eye. 270 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:26,520 Jesus. Of course he does. Jesus. This is not happening. 271 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:29,240 I'm a middle-aged bloke with a wife and two kids, you know. 272 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:32,960 I should be bleeding radiators or creosoting a shed, 273 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,920 not sat here waiting to pick up 274 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:38,960 a kilo of uncut shitting cocaine! Forget it. Not doing it. Too late. 275 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:44,600 Shit. Oh, shit. Shit! What do we do now? What do we do? 276 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:45,960 I don't know! 277 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:48,160 I'll just consult my black-person manual, shall I? 278 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,120 "Car Park Drug Deals - chapter five." 279 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:53,080 Oh, window. Oh, shit, we're doing this. Oh, fuck my life. 280 00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:02,160 Hello, all right? Yo. Is it G... Are you G? 281 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,000 Good afternoon, officer. 282 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,120 No, I'm not... I'm not a policeman. 283 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:07,560 No? What do you do, then? 284 00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:11,440 Me? Well, I'm... I'm between jobs at the moment 285 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:14,320 because no-one's hiring a white, middle-aged bloke these days, 286 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:15,560 are they? 287 00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:18,040 Unless you're disabled or a transgender vegan that's... 288 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:19,560 Not...not...not now. Not now? 289 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:21,160 You got the four bags? 290 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:24,360 No, cos I think we're buying them from you. 291 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:27,880 Bag o' sand, grand. Four grand. You got the four grand? 292 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,400 We're from Bristol. We don't do rhyming slang. 293 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:33,120 Wait, if you call a grand a bag of sand, 294 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:36,880 just interested, what do you call a bag of sand? 295 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:39,520 You got the money? Yeah. 296 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:44,400 Shit, man! 297 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,880 Don't wave it around like a game show host! 298 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:48,160 Put it in something! 299 00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:49,960 Er, have a look in the glove compartment. 300 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,080 Anything? 301 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:56,960 No. Just some middle-of-the-road white man music 302 00:14:56,960 --> 00:15:00,000 and an underwear catalogue that seems to be catering 303 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,680 for women with a fuller bust. 304 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:03,520 What is this? Porn for cowards? 305 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:06,440 Just my wife's. It's OK. I've got an envelope. 306 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:08,560 An envelope. I've got an envelope. 307 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,400 There we go. 308 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:11,720 No! 309 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:16,200 Right. You've put the money in? I've done... Yeah. 310 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,640 Get out... Yeah. ..and pretend to drop your keys. Drop your keys. 311 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:21,880 Leave the money on the front-right tyre. 312 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,160 He said, leave the money on the front-right tyre. 313 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:26,520 Then walk inside, get a coffee. 314 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:29,280 He said, go get a coff... I don't drink coffee. 315 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:30,880 It makes me all kinds of wired. 316 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:32,560 Is peppermint tea OK? 317 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:35,120 Listen It don't matter what you drink. 318 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,640 Just go away, come back in ten, 319 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:41,200 and the product will be where the money is. You get me, right? 320 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,920 Yeah. 321 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,400 Go, then. 322 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:53,960 Oh... Butterfingers! 323 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,440 I've got 'em. 324 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:20,160 Come on... We're coming. We're coming. Oh, my God, it's there. OK. 325 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:21,560 So, I have to... 326 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,000 Oh. Do you know, 327 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,680 I do not know what's wrong with me today. 328 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,280 Just wait, wait, wait. Jesus Christ! 329 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:49,920 Hey, Mum. 330 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:57,080 Look who's come to see you. 331 00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,520 Hey, Lou. 332 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:01,680 Does she even know we're here? 333 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:03,080 She doesn't talk any more, 334 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:05,120 so we don't know how much she knows. 335 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:10,040 Frank is going to take you for a walk today. 336 00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,440 Nice wheels you got there. 337 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,080 Little different from that Alfa Romeo we used 338 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:23,840 to skip around in. 339 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:29,240 Remember that time we drove all the way to London just 340 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:32,960 to see the sun rise over Tower Bridge? 341 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:39,320 We broke down on the freeway coming back. 342 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:42,240 I flagged down that guy, 343 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:45,680 persuaded him to swap his Hillman for the Alfa Romeo. 344 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:50,320 I wo... I wonder if he ever made it home. 345 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:59,160 I'm sorry... I didn't visit earlier. 346 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:03,600 I've been busy. 347 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:10,280 Remind me of the brief again? Just choose an outfit you think 348 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:13,360 will make a good first impression on a first date. Oh, I got it. 349 00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:19,800 Leather trousers? 350 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,200 Yeah. I read in GQ Magazine that every man should 351 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:25,000 have at least one peacocking item that really makes him stand out. 352 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,880 Right, right. 353 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,040 But you've...you've paired the leather trousers 354 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,800 with loafers and a shirt and tie? 355 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,000 I have, yeah, yeah. Adding a bit of class. 356 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,200 You look like the Hell's Angels' accountant. 357 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:38,760 Thank you. Greg, that's not a compliment. It doesn't work. 358 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:40,800 Why not? 359 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:44,520 Jim Morrison - regional manager of a Morrisons. 360 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,320 Come on! 361 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,040 Does he want me to pull over? 362 00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:11,280 You can't. What? Don't pull over! 363 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,200 No, he's... Shit! 364 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,760 Shit! You've got a kilo of coke in your bag! 365 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:18,200 Oh, this is not happening! What do we do? Stay calm! 366 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,280 What happens, though? You just have to act like you have not got a care 367 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:23,400 in the world. Oh...! 368 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:36,360 ♪ You're beautiful, you're beautiful 369 00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,760 ♪ You're beautiful, it's true 370 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:47,760 ♪ I saw your face in a crowded space... ♪ 371 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:50,520 Can you turn the music down please, sir? 372 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:53,560 ♪ And I don't know... Sure, sorry. 373 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:57,960 Is there a problem, officer? 374 00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:01,000 You were doing 40 in a 30mph zone. 375 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,480 Do you know, I literally didn't know that that was a 30. 376 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:06,800 I assume you understand the dangers of driving over 377 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:08,680 the speed limit in a built-up area? 378 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:10,280 Listen, 379 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:13,920 I know that Highway Code like the back of my hand. Licence. 380 00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:15,280 Sorry. 381 00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:18,880 Are you all right? Yeah. 382 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:21,040 He just prides himself on being a really good driver. 383 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:23,600 He's a bit embarrassed. Hopefully, three points 384 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,360 and a 100-quid fine will make him be a bit more careful in the future. 385 00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:28,720 Three points?! One minute. 386 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,680 Three points?! Are you...? 387 00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:33,880 You should be out there catching criminals, mate. Three points! 388 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:37,760 Thank you, Officer, and once again, we are really sorry! 389 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:40,800 Three points. That is...that is madness! 390 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,600 Would you rather have 20 years in jail for drug-dealing? 391 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:45,600 You all right? 392 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,520 No, I feel... Oh... I feel like I can't breathe. 393 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:52,080 Oh, God. You're hyperventilating. Hold on. 394 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,720 Oh, God. 395 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:56,800 Myrna, seriously, I'm... 396 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,400 Take that. Breathe into that. 397 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,520 Better? 398 00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:04,320 It's bloody plastic! 399 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:07,480 Just take small breaths and try and stay calm. 400 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,320 I don't like it, Myrna. 401 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:12,200 Right. Here we go. Try some of that. 402 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,400 It is herbal, it will calm you down. 403 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,600 What the f...?! No! What is that?! You're supposed to dab some behind 404 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:19,200 your ears! Oh, for Christ's sake! 405 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,320 Oh, Christ's sake, Myrna! Oh, God! 406 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,400 Bad luck, Reg. 407 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,880 Come on, Stanley. 408 00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:34,600 Bad luck, fellas. 409 00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:35,880 Want to go again? 410 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:39,200 Oh, seriously? You're unbelievable. 411 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:42,480 Dennis here is the unbelievable one. 412 00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:44,840 Three winning shots on the bounce. 413 00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:46,560 I think he's hustling me. 414 00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:49,120 So, you can't even spend half an hour with her? 415 00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:51,800 Margie, she has no idea what's happening. 416 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,000 Do you even understand why that's wrong? 417 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:55,600 I have to level with you. 418 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:58,040 Seeing her like this makes me feel bad. 419 00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:00,960 It isn't about you. When she got sick, you never visited her, 420 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,520 you just pretended she didn't exist. Well, she does exist, 421 00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,320 and if seeing her makes you feel bad, then that's tough! 422 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:07,640 Whoa. 423 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:10,640 Mum?! 424 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,200 Get a...get a nurse! 425 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:36,520 Hello, Rani. Hello, Mum. 426 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:39,080 Come in, come in. 427 00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:45,760 Shoes off at the door, please. Yeah, sure. 428 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,120 I don't want any scratches on my floor. 429 00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:51,280 There are no scratches on the floor. Because it's shoes off at 430 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,760 the door! Please, put on some slippers. 431 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,360 You can wear an old pair of mine. 432 00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:59,520 Yeah, you don't have to wear those. 433 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:05,200 No, I've... I've never had a pair of slippers before. Oh. 434 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,120 They're...they're lush. 435 00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:11,960 Oh, good. 436 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:13,280 I hope you're hungry. 437 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,960 Oh, yes! Please, it's through there. 438 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:19,160 Thank you. 439 00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:34,200 Evening, Diane. You look nice. 440 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,960 Subject is three minutes late and did not, 441 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:40,360 I repeat, not bring flowers. Breathe. 442 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:43,960 Breath, adequate. 443 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:47,320 Aftershave, vinegary. 444 00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:49,240 You going to do this all night? As I see fit. 445 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:51,840 I just think it might ruin the mood. 446 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,560 Subject questions methodology of the adjudicator. 447 00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:58,080 Bye, Mum! 448 00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:01,840 Subject picks up hot date in 449 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:06,720 a beige 2012 Skoda Octavia. 450 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,800 Makes him look like a Bulgarian minicab driver. 451 00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:19,760 Vehicle interior smells like balls and Glade. 452 00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:21,080 Happy to go? 453 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:22,680 Yeah, let's get this over with. 454 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:24,640 Oh, I'm going to have to crack a window. 455 00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,000 Sorry, sorry. 456 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:45,640 You're not what I expected. You're late. 457 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,040 Sorry, yeah. 458 00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:49,440 We just...we just had a bit of a run-in with the... 459 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:51,600 Traffic. With the traffic on the M4. 460 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:54,080 You know what the traffic can be like on the M4. 461 00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:56,840 My mum's the best cook in the South West. 462 00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:59,560 She's Michelin-starred. It's rude to keep her waiting. 463 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:04,160 Sorry, let's...let's crack on, shall we? No pun intended. 464 00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:09,800 It's just through those double doors up there. 465 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:20,000 John, there is a meeting tonight which I cannot miss. Cop hold. 466 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,400 What do you mean, there is a meeting? 467 00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:25,280 You can't leave me with these people. 468 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,880 They seem nice. They seem...? Myrna, 469 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:29,920 these people cook crack for a living! 470 00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:32,960 I'll only be an hour! I don't want to do this on my own! 471 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:36,760 Look, I know that today has been rather stressful. 472 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:38,000 Stressful?! 473 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:40,920 I will be back in an hour. I promise. Got to go. 474 00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:42,600 Listen. Listen... 475 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:46,960 Myrns! 476 00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:12,120 You've not done this before, have you? 477 00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:13,480 Can you tell? 478 00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:16,200 You don't look like someone who usually deals crack. 479 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:17,960 What do you need the money for? 480 00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:19,840 Gambling debts? 481 00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:21,400 Big divorce settlement? 482 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:23,040 A London gangster wants to kill me. 483 00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:26,880 Classic. 484 00:26:39,120 --> 00:26:40,640 Calm your nerves. 485 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:44,480 Cheers. 486 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:47,200 Cheers. 487 00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:51,160 What's your name? 488 00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:53,120 John. Yours? 489 00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:54,560 Anastasia. 490 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:55,880 Really? 491 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:57,480 No. 492 00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:00,720 Never use your real name, John. 493 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:04,080 First rule of crack-dealing. 494 00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:17,080 That's nice, innit? Would you like another drink? 495 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:18,720 Yeah, definitely. 496 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,280 Excuse me. Can I have another Grolsch 497 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:23,560 for me, and a white wine spritzer for him? 498 00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:30,120 Why don't you ask me some questions? 499 00:27:30,120 --> 00:27:32,080 Questions, yeah. Good idea, yeah. 500 00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,440 What is your favourite colour, please? 501 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:37,680 This is a date, 502 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:40,280 not a Smash Hits interview. Just ask me an adult question. 503 00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:41,920 Have you ever had a threesome? 504 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,160 No, not like an adult movie question. 505 00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,960 And, yeah, I have. Didn't enjoy it. Too much talking. 506 00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:50,800 Just ask me a normal question from one person to another. 507 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,040 Do you have any hobbies? No. I don't have time 508 00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:55,320 for hobbies. Too busy training as a PCSO. 509 00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:57,680 Oh, yeah. How's that going? Yeah, it's awesome. 510 00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:00,320 Incapacitant spray training last week. That was a highlight. 511 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:01,880 What does that involve? 512 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:05,400 This. Pepper spray. 513 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:08,280 They spray it on our faces so we know what it feels like. 514 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,000 They issue you with this, do they? 515 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,680 Oh, God. No, no. Pepper spray is illegal. 516 00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:14,520 So, where did you get that? 517 00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:15,920 Next question. 518 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:21,760 It's good to see you. 519 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:23,560 Yeah, yeah, you too, you too. 520 00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:25,360 And you're drinking water? 521 00:28:25,360 --> 00:28:26,720 I'm... I'm completely off 522 00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:29,800 the booze now. Like, for real this time. That's great. 523 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:32,320 Yeah, yeah. Oh, and the drugs and, yeah, 524 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:34,760 I got rid of all the hangers-on, you know? 525 00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:38,480 Just realised that they were actually just taking the piss. 526 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:44,880 Look, Lara, I...I... 527 00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:48,600 ..I want you to know that I have completely sorted myself out 528 00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:53,320 and, well, I...I saw that you're...you're on Her, 529 00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:56,560 and I thought maybe you might want to try again. 530 00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:59,040 Gabby... I'm completely clean, I promise. 531 00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:00,480 I mean, I don't touch a thing now, 532 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:02,800 not even on weekends or on special occasions. 533 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:05,400 That's great. Yeah. I'm pleased for you, really, 534 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:06,720 I am. 535 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:11,080 But I forgot to remove my profile from Her. 536 00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:13,720 I'm not single. I'm actually engaged. 537 00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:23,040 Er... Congratulations. 538 00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:28,000 Wow. Um, do I...? 539 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,560 No. 540 00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:35,120 Look, I probably need to go. 541 00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:36,520 Of course, no, of course. 542 00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,040 It really was nice to see you. 543 00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,760 The Hardest Button To Button by The White Stripes 544 00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:03,080 Where did you hide it, you overgrown stick insect?! 545 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:16,120 Who still buys DVDs, Greg?! 546 00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:39,920 Yes! 547 00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:11,480 You look...tired. 548 00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,680 Your eyes are dark. Are you getting enough sleep? Mum. 549 00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:16,560 Well, then you're not drinking enough water. 550 00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:19,600 Jerzy, pour Rani a glass of water. No, I don't want any water. 551 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:21,560 Yeah, you need about seven or eight glasses. 552 00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:23,120 I don't want any water! 553 00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,560 You may think you are old enough 554 00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:33,160 to look after yourself, make your own decisions, but 555 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:35,680 look at you. You're a mess. Abandoning your future. 556 00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:37,000 I'm not talking about this. 557 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:38,720 Living with a boy with no prospects. 558 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:41,280 What sort of a boy has never owned a pair of slippers? 559 00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:42,480 Why are you fixating on that? 560 00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:45,280 Because it tells us all we need to know about the kind of boy he is. 561 00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:47,400 That you are throwing your life after some sort 562 00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:50,040 of low-life that we've always tried to protect you from. 563 00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:53,800 Ahhhh. Wow, smells delicious. Thank you. 564 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:56,560 Ah. There's extra chilli in this one for you, 565 00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:58,960 Mr Rekowski. Rani told me you like your food hot. 566 00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:00,920 The hotter, the better! 567 00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:02,240 You make all this yourself? 568 00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:03,480 Yeah. 569 00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:05,000 I'll just be... 570 00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:14,040 My wife felt that we were stuck in a rut, so Mr Romantic here surprised her with a camping trip to Cornwall, 571 00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:18,080 and while I was emptying out the chemical toilet, this chap came by and he's like, "Oh, would you like 572 00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:20,800 "to do some white-water rafting with me?" Apparently some other 573 00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:24,560 people had dropped out and he needed to make up the numbers cos otherwise he would have lost his deposit. 574 00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:28,440 It doesn't matter, move on. Yeah, well, anyway I couldn't do it, myself, because I've only got my 575 00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:31,440 ten-metre swimming badge. But my wife did go with him and, um... 576 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:34,000 Don't tell me. You caught that other bloke shagging 577 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:37,240 your wife's brains out. No, no. But she fell in love with... 578 00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:38,680 The other bloke. 579 00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:40,240 Cos he's a demon in the sack 580 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:42,800 and having sex with you is like shagging a giant Pepperami. 581 00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:47,000 No, she fell in love with danger and adrenaline. 582 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,440 Oh, right. There was no stopping her after that. 583 00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:52,200 She got into base jumping, and abseiling, 584 00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,680 and doing parkour around Bristol city centre. I mean, 585 00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:56,960 we'd be down in town doing a bit of Christmas shopping, 586 00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:58,840 she'd suddenly be off over the roof of Argos. 587 00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:01,560 She wanted us to do a bungee jump together, to try 588 00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:04,040 and sort of save the marriage. So I agreed. 589 00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:05,360 We got harnessed up, 590 00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,480 stood on the edge of Clifton Suspension Bridge 591 00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:09,880 but I couldn't go through with it. She jumped, looked back, 592 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:11,920 saw me standing there and just shouted, 593 00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,800 "I want a divorce!" as she plummeted into Avon Gorge. 594 00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:17,320 She bounced back up and shouted, "You're dragging me down!" 595 00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:20,240 even though it was gravity dragging her down at that point, 596 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:23,760 to be honest, but I understood what she was saying, 597 00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:26,720 which is that I'm boring. 598 00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:30,680 No. You're not boring. 599 00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:32,320 Want to do the quiz? 600 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:34,440 Yeah, for the love of God, yeah. Thank you. 601 00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:39,160 Team name. 602 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:40,600 Diane and Greg. 603 00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:45,840 Margie... Don't talk to me. 604 00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:06,440 I have never tasted anything like this. It's so...fresh. 605 00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:08,280 Would you give me the recipe? 606 00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:10,800 The recipe belongs to my grandma, so I'm going to have 607 00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:13,040 to take that one to my grave! 608 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,800 I'm really glad that you like Ben's cooking, 609 00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:18,000 cos we actually have something that we want to talk 610 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:19,400 to you about. 611 00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:22,840 We're going to... 612 00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:25,280 We want to open a food place in Weston. 613 00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:30,800 With my cooking and Rani's brain, who knows? 614 00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:33,480 We might be able to start our own franchise. 615 00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:35,880 And we were wondering if you could give us a loan. 616 00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:39,160 Which we will pay back... Of course. ..once we get back on our feet. 617 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,560 Oh! What about Oxford? 618 00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:43,200 That was your dream, not mine. 619 00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:46,040 So, a food shack in Weston. That's your dream? 620 00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:47,920 Yeah. 621 00:34:53,720 --> 00:34:56,560 Your mother and I started a business from scratch. 622 00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:58,360 It takes all of your energies. 623 00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:01,040 So much hard work, you will have no free time. 624 00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:02,520 Yeah, I know. 625 00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:05,160 But I imagine 626 00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:07,480 the sense of achievement must be intense. 627 00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:09,200 Starting a business from nothing, 628 00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:11,480 and raising such an amazing daughter at the same time? 629 00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:16,040 What I want most is what you have. 630 00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:20,680 I never had a stable upbringing. Well, 631 00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:23,680 you know, the thought of starting my own business, 632 00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:27,480 buying my own house, wife, kids... 633 00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:35,000 So... 634 00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:38,280 ..what do you think about the loan? 635 00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:39,840 We'll... 636 00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:43,000 We'll think about it. 637 00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:47,320 Look at the slide. 638 00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:50,120 14% of over-25s we surveyed 639 00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:52,560 said a phone mast brings no jobs to the community. 640 00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:55,400 Or anything productive. And on the next slide... 641 00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:03,200 What it will bring is faster data download 642 00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:04,960 and upload speed, 643 00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:07,600 so no more waiting for Netflix to buffer. 644 00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:10,880 And we're planning to build in front of the mast site, 645 00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:12,440 as a voluntary contribution to 646 00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:15,240 the community, at our own expense, 647 00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:18,880 a park bench and three trees. 648 00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:21,720 Y-y-yes, but returning to slide four... 649 00:36:21,720 --> 00:36:24,760 Oh. Just what we need. More slides. 650 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:28,560 We don't need another park bench around here, either! 651 00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:30,200 Where kids can go 652 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,720 to drink or get high, because they're so bloody bored. 653 00:36:32,720 --> 00:36:35,320 This guy will promise you the moon on 654 00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:37,560 a string if it gets him his planning application. 655 00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:39,920 But he'll be gone in a week. 656 00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:41,040 Me, and you, 657 00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,480 and Claire, we live here. 658 00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:47,320 There are kids out there as young as nine or ten selling drugs 659 00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:48,880 to make ends meet. 660 00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:52,160 I know. I see them every day. 661 00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:56,800 They don't need faster mobile phone speeds if they're dead or locked up 662 00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:58,520 or hooked on crack. 663 00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:00,080 Well... 664 00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:03,320 What they do need is somewhere to go at nights, 665 00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:06,240 to study, to get what they need, 666 00:37:06,240 --> 00:37:09,560 where their parents can get therapy or go to rehab. 667 00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,720 Or learn to dance. Mate, 668 00:37:12,720 --> 00:37:15,960 we don't need your phone tower around here, 669 00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:20,720 what we do need is community! 670 00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:25,800 Plus... 671 00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,760 ..5G gives you Covid-19! 672 00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:58,440 You like...you like cooking other things, food, or... 673 00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:02,520 ..just the crack? 674 00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:25,480 How does someone like you wind up in trouble with a London gangster? 675 00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:27,960 That's a very long and a very depressing story. 676 00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:30,160 We've got a while. 677 00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:31,680 Nah. 678 00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:37,040 You don't want my tale of woe. 679 00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:42,720 Want some? No. 680 00:38:42,720 --> 00:38:43,840 You ever tried it? 681 00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:46,320 Have I ever smoked crack? Er, no. No, 682 00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:47,840 I've never smoked crack. 683 00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:49,200 I'm a middle-aged married man 684 00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:51,080 with two kids and a recurrent hernia. 685 00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:52,480 All the more reason to smoke some. 686 00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:54,680 No, I read the papers, I know what that stuff's like. 687 00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:55,920 Instantly addictive. 688 00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:58,160 I'd have one puff and in a month, I'd have no teeth 689 00:38:58,160 --> 00:38:59,760 and a pimp named Alphonso. 690 00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:04,640 No. It's nothing like The Daily Mail says. 691 00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:07,160 It's just amazingly good fun. 692 00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:30,720 How much amazingly good fun? 693 00:39:30,720 --> 00:39:33,200 It will make you forget your tale of woe. 694 00:39:45,720 --> 00:39:47,280 Oh, shit. 695 00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:51,560 No Surprises 696 00:39:54,400 --> 00:40:00,720 ♪ A job that slowly kills you 697 00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:04,840 ♪ Bruises that won't heal... ♪ 698 00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:07,040 She's stable... 699 00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:17,560 Which famous actor is said 700 00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:21,720 to have invented the Magnum ice cream? 701 00:40:21,720 --> 00:40:24,160 Oh, what?! Who is going to get that? 702 00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:27,040 Roger Moore. He loved a choc ice 703 00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:29,960 but he didn't like getting chocolate ice cream on his safari suit. 704 00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:32,920 So he thought, hang on, I'll pop a stick in the end. Ergo, the Magnum. 705 00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:35,680 What about the picture round? I don't know any of them. 706 00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:38,040 Rod Hull, Samantha Fox, Keith Flint from The Prodigy, 707 00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:40,080 Kendall Jenner, Jeffrey from Rainbow, 708 00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:43,320 Charles Manson, Emma Stone, and DJ Bruno Brookes. 709 00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:46,800 What is the capital of Ecuador? 710 00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:49,120 Oh, you are havin' a laugh! Quito. 711 00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:50,840 Yup, we got it. We know it. 712 00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:09,680 Hey... 713 00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:11,400 What? 714 00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:26,160 Anyone watching you? 715 00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:27,560 No. 716 00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:30,120 I can't see who's inside. 717 00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:31,400 Anyone complaining? 718 00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:33,000 Nah, I got compliments. 719 00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:36,400 Did you lose any regulars? 720 00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:37,840 Don't think so. 721 00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:39,440 Is that a yes or a no? 722 00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:40,840 It's a no. 723 00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:43,040 Don't lie to me. I ain't. 724 00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:44,880 Do you know what happens when you lie? 725 00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:48,040 Yeah, and I ain't lying. You better not be. 726 00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:53,800 Go. 727 00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:11,640 Which means the runners-up, in second place... 728 00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:15,560 ..with 36 points, are... 729 00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:16,920 You're crushing my fingers. 730 00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:18,960 I'm sorry, it's my natural vice-like grip. 731 00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:21,120 ..J Lo's Arse! 732 00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:23,480 Which means the winners are 733 00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:25,280 Cagney and Lacey! 734 00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:27,440 Yee-haw. Woo! 735 00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:30,800 Losers! Losers! Losers! 736 00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:33,240 Oh, hello, sir, you all right? 737 00:43:33,240 --> 00:43:36,080 Sorry, you just dropped something on the floor. That! And one for you! 738 00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:39,080 Yeah! Wow! Oh, my God! I've never won anything before! 739 00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:41,520 You are insane at quizzes! 740 00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:43,720 Well, thanks, yeah. Product of a misspent youth. 741 00:43:43,720 --> 00:43:45,800 I played a lot of Trivial Pursuit in my teens. 742 00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:47,280 Wow! Wild. Idea. 743 00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:49,440 You and I go back to my house, have coffee 744 00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:51,680 and sexual intercourse. I don't do tea-bagging, 745 00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:54,400 golden showers or reverse anal. Everything else is up for grabs. 746 00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:57,280 What's reverse anal? Wouldn't that just be regular, in the front door? 747 00:43:57,280 --> 00:43:59,160 No, that's what they want you to think. 748 00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:01,240 Hold that thought. 749 00:44:01,240 --> 00:44:02,720 Go for Diane Pemberley. 750 00:44:02,720 --> 00:44:04,640 Hello, it's Barbara. Who? 751 00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:07,680 There's people in the centre, I can see their shadows moving about. 752 00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:09,280 Did you get a camera? 753 00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:12,160 Yes, I found one in the back of the sideboard. 754 00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:14,640 Er, I'm not sure how well it'll come out, 755 00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:18,120 mind, it's been in the drawer since my Kenny died. 756 00:44:18,120 --> 00:44:19,280 God, I miss him! 757 00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:22,040 Right. Stay focused, woman. Take pictures of everything, 758 00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:23,520 OK? I'm coming over. 759 00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:25,680 I need you to drop me off at the community centre. 760 00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,160 There ARE people inside looking suspicious. 761 00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:31,000 What about the coffee and the sexual intercourse? 762 00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:33,160 That's off. Look, if this turns into a stakeout, 763 00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:35,120 I might give you a quick handjob, all right? 764 00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:37,520 No promises, though. Come on. Let's go. 765 00:44:48,240 --> 00:44:50,920 Oh, shit. I think we're being followed. 766 00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:54,800 By who? You see that black Vauxhall? 767 00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:57,360 It was there when we left Windmill Hill. 768 00:44:57,360 --> 00:44:58,880 What do we do? 769 00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:01,240 Um... Er... 770 00:45:01,240 --> 00:45:03,040 Just, um, take a left. 771 00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:07,120 And-and go right, go right. 772 00:45:18,720 --> 00:45:20,400 Fuck! Fuck! 773 00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:23,800 Can you see who it is? 774 00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:25,400 It's the police. 775 00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:26,840 Go. 776 00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:31,520 I just got a text from Greg, saying, 777 00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:34,120 "Stop cooking crack, Diane's on her way." 778 00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:35,840 Oh, shit! 779 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:41,520 Sweet Little Mystery by Wet Wet Wet 780 00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:48,520 Yeah, my own father. Sacked you? 781 00:45:51,240 --> 00:45:54,760 I had a mortgage, kids' school fees, skiing, 782 00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:56,680 bollocks. 783 00:45:56,680 --> 00:46:01,640 You know, it's £800 a year for horse riding insurance? £800. 784 00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:05,200 I mean, just don't crash your horse, right? Mm. 785 00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:07,080 Doesn't your wife work? 786 00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:13,280 She makes and sells vegan dog treats, so, no. 787 00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:19,080 What's funny? 788 00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:20,760 Vegan dog treats! 789 00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:23,120 You can have vegan dogs. 790 00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:27,080 I think I'm beginning to understand your tale of woe. 791 00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:47,920 Hello? Are you at the community centre? 792 00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:49,920 No. I had to pop out for a bit. 793 00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:52,400 Pop out? Why are you popping out? 794 00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:53,960 I've left John in charge. 795 00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:56,000 Well, he isn't answering his phone, 796 00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:59,480 and Diane is on her way there, so you have to get everyone out! 797 00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:01,480 I'm busy. Why can't you?! 798 00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:03,320 I'm in a police car chase! 799 00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:06,280 What did you say?! I don't think I heard you right! 800 00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:08,920 I bet you wish you had 5G. 801 00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:11,160 Hello? Hello?! 802 00:47:11,160 --> 00:47:13,840 Why are you driving so slowly?! Have you heard of second gear?! 803 00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:16,240 A little kiddie might jump out. Kiddie? It's night-time! 804 00:47:16,240 --> 00:47:18,480 You're doing about 8mph. Speed kills. 805 00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:22,000 What are you doing?! 806 00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,480 Don't wave him on. Don't let him overtake you! 807 00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:26,520 Well, you know, I'm just feeling generous. 808 00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:28,360 Oh, my God! 809 00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:31,240 Subject drives like my nan. Well, you know, there's a lot of idiots on 810 00:47:31,240 --> 00:47:33,560 the road at this time of night. You've got to be careful. 811 00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:35,680 Yeah, idiots like you. Number one over here. 812 00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:38,320 She's going faster than we are. With her stupid little scooter. 813 00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:40,840 Yeah, well, but that's reckless, isn't it? Absolutely reckless. 814 00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:43,640 It's not reckless. Go through, we're coming up to the lights. That's good. 815 00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:46,040 Right, amber, go through on the amber, go through on the amber! 816 00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:49,760 Well, you shouldn't go through on the amber. No, cos it might change to red. You see, there you go. 817 00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:52,080 You've got to be careful. Oh, my God. 818 00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:54,760 What are you doing? Where are you going? 819 00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:56,640 What are you up to? What's going on? 820 00:47:56,640 --> 00:48:00,040 I'm commandeering this vehicle for volunteer police purposes. 821 00:48:00,040 --> 00:48:02,920 It's Haines. We're following a black Range Rover. 822 00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:06,000 Yeah, I need you to run a plate for me, please. 823 00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:08,680 They still there? 824 00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:12,880 Yeah. OK. What am I doing? Where am I going? 825 00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:15,280 Rani, what now? They're behind us! 826 00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:18,680 Calm down! I'm trying to think! Go right, go right! 827 00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:25,960 We need to lose them. Fuck! 828 00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:29,240 The vehicle is leased to a Christian Taylor. 829 00:48:29,240 --> 00:48:32,080 We need to overtake that lorry there. Taylor's in prison. 830 00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:33,800 It's his car. 831 00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:37,120 Go, go, go! 832 00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:43,280 Wait for it. 833 00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:47,960 Now, pull off. Pull off! 834 00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:00,080 Where...where are they? 835 00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:04,480 Where are they? I can't see 'em. 836 00:49:06,640 --> 00:49:08,320 Shit! 837 00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:12,600 We have to find that Range. 838 00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:14,960 Whoever is driving that is running Brook Hill. 839 00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:31,160 My heart's racing. 840 00:49:32,720 --> 00:49:35,560 That was incredible! That was so cool! 841 00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:40,600 Wait, Rani, wait! That weren't cool. 842 00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:44,880 Yeah, it was. We totally out-foxed them. So cool. 843 00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:46,920 Wait, wait, wait, wait! Yeah? 844 00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:48,560 Does this stuff turn you on? 845 00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:50,160 What stuff? 846 00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:51,440 You know... 847 00:49:51,440 --> 00:49:53,960 ..car chases, the drug deals, the gang shit. 848 00:49:55,680 --> 00:49:57,760 No, of course not. 849 00:49:57,760 --> 00:49:59,280 It doesn't. Just... 850 00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:01,840 It must be my adrenaline pumping. 851 00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:10,000 We need to get rid of this car. 852 00:50:25,840 --> 00:50:27,960 What...is going on?! 853 00:50:29,320 --> 00:50:32,760 Myrns. I'm a crack ho. 854 00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:34,520 What?! 855 00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:36,320 Diane is coming! 856 00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:38,280 We need to get out of here! 857 00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:41,560 Diane is on her way here! 858 00:50:41,560 --> 00:50:44,280 We need to pack up and get out of here now! 859 00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:47,200 We need to pack up and get out of here! Come on, move! 860 00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:51,840 ♪ No alarms and no surprises, please... ♪ 861 00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:54,920 I'm coming, Dad. 862 00:51:11,320 --> 00:51:13,920 What have we got here, then? 863 00:51:15,240 --> 00:51:17,080 Light on at the side of the building. 864 00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:18,880 Moving to investigate. 865 00:51:18,880 --> 00:51:22,640 Hmm. Gate is unlocked. Note to self. 866 00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:24,920 Diane. What? 867 00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:27,040 I have to tell you something before you go in there. 868 00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:29,360 Well, it'll have to wait. No. It can't wait. 869 00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:32,200 I have to tell you it now. The reason 870 00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:35,400 I was driving so slow earlier, like your nan, 871 00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:37,280 is so that I could 872 00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:40,040 spend more time with you 873 00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:43,280 and enjoy your magical personality. Yeah, makes sense. 874 00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:45,360 Yeah, but there's more. 875 00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:51,360 Diane Pemberley... I love you. 876 00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:53,640 Well, you're only human. Yeah! 877 00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:05,000 Ahh! 878 00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:08,080 God...! 879 00:52:09,240 --> 00:52:12,880 I had to incapacitate subject, as his libido became inflamed by his 880 00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:14,920 smoking-hot date. 881 00:52:14,920 --> 00:52:17,360 Heading inside to investigate further. 882 00:52:17,360 --> 00:52:19,520 What's in it?! What's in it?! 883 00:52:21,720 --> 00:52:23,240 I need a wet wipe! 884 00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:27,000 I am entering the premises. 885 00:52:56,880 --> 00:52:58,560 Diane? 886 00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:02,000 I can't drive you home, cos I'm blind now. 887 00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:10,480 Christian is going to be so pissed. 888 00:53:10,480 --> 00:53:12,480 He only had six months left on the lease. 889 00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:24,000 I'm going to get a tea, do you want one? 890 00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:27,160 No. 891 00:53:41,840 --> 00:53:45,760 We swore we'd never be that couple with nothing to say 892 00:53:45,760 --> 00:53:48,560 to each other. Remember? 893 00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:50,800 When we met, 894 00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:55,240 you taught ME the shuffle, the backdrop. 895 00:53:56,400 --> 00:53:58,680 King and queen of the dance floor. 896 00:53:59,960 --> 00:54:01,920 We were a head-turning couple. 897 00:54:03,560 --> 00:54:05,440 Being busy is not 898 00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:08,640 the reason I didn't visit when you got sick, Lou. 899 00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:12,600 It's cos I was in a pub, getting high. 900 00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:16,200 Getting laid. 901 00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:17,840 Cos all of that was 902 00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:20,120 100 times easier than facing you, 903 00:54:20,120 --> 00:54:22,360 cos facing you meant facing me, 904 00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:23,880 and I never could do that. 905 00:54:25,120 --> 00:54:29,720 I missed my chance to say sorry...when it mattered. 906 00:54:33,640 --> 00:54:36,320 What the heck, I'm going to say it now. 907 00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:38,120 Anyway, I'm sorry, 908 00:54:38,120 --> 00:54:42,240 I'm sorry you had to put up with all the lies, 909 00:54:42,240 --> 00:54:45,280 then apologies, then more lies, and... 910 00:54:46,680 --> 00:54:49,240 ..I'm sorry for the things I did when I was here 911 00:54:49,240 --> 00:54:51,640 and the things I didn't do when I wasn't. 912 00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:53,400 And I'm sorry I didn't get 913 00:54:53,400 --> 00:54:55,320 to know our little girl earlier. 914 00:54:55,320 --> 00:54:58,160 You raised a helluva woman without me, Lou. 915 00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:02,480 You know, I don't have a pot to piss in. 916 00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:05,200 All I got to show 917 00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:08,200 for my time on this Earth is what I walked out on. 918 00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:12,760 So, let's us - you and me... 919 00:55:14,320 --> 00:55:16,160 ..remember the good times. 920 00:55:19,240 --> 00:55:21,800 We were king... 921 00:55:21,800 --> 00:55:25,160 ..queen of the dance floor. 922 00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:27,800 We were... 923 00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:30,800 ..a head-turning couple. 924 00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:11,040 Excuse me. 925 00:56:11,040 --> 00:56:12,440 Shoes off at the door, yeah? 926 00:56:16,880 --> 00:56:19,560 Those are not my dad's slippers, are they? 927 00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:21,240 No. They're mine. 928 00:56:21,240 --> 00:56:23,520 He let me keep 'em. 929 00:56:23,520 --> 00:56:25,480 You don't have to wear them, though. 930 00:56:25,480 --> 00:56:27,480 Yeah, well, they're kind of snuggly. 931 00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:32,560 Erm, do you really want kids? 932 00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:35,120 Yeah, don't you? 933 00:56:35,120 --> 00:56:37,080 We never spoke about it. 934 00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:38,720 I think we'd make great parents. 935 00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:49,720 Get It 'Fore It's Gone by Pokey LaFarge 936 00:57:09,240 --> 00:57:11,360 God! 937 00:57:28,840 --> 00:57:31,240 Ah, fuck it. Bedtime. 938 00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:33,480 I'm coming to bed! 939 00:57:33,480 --> 00:57:37,800 ♪ I'm gonna live life just like a butterfly 940 00:57:37,800 --> 00:57:42,240 ♪ It's here today and kiss the world goodbye 941 00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:46,880 ♪ Noon is breaking 942 00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:49,400 ♪ I'm making my way 943 00:57:49,400 --> 00:57:51,400 ♪ Hey, hey, hey 944 00:57:51,400 --> 00:57:54,920 ♪ Don't throw shade on my sunny day 945 00:57:54,920 --> 00:57:57,840 ♪ Gotta get it 'fore it's gone 946 00:57:57,840 --> 00:58:00,560 ♪ Get it 'fore it's gone, oh, yeah 947 00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:06,200 ♪ Get it 'fore it's gone 948 00:58:06,200 --> 00:58:07,880 ♪ Get it now 949 00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:10,320 ♪ Gone, gone, get, get, gone, getcha 950 00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:12,600 ♪ Gotta get it 'fore it's gone 951 00:58:12,600 --> 00:58:18,640 ♪ Get it 'fore it's gone 952 00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:20,560 ♪ Get it now. ♪